.. Anxiety.
Ugh, I'm so stressed out. I think I will vent.
Christmas: money - gifts - money - parties - money - cards - money (Need I say more?)
The house: moving - inspections - boxes - problems - bills - more boxes
Work: sales - goals - sales - goals - sales - goals - bonus?
That's not even the half of it. I look back and I think, I am so blessed.
I'm 19 years old and:
- engaged to best person I've ever been with
- building the nicest house I've ever lived in
- working at a place where I have my own office and making the best paycheck I've ever made
- driving the nicest vehicle I've ever had
I mean there is so much going on in my life right now that some people would look at me and wonder why I'm complaining. I feel so bad because I don't want to come across as if I'm not appreciative or grateful because I am, but when I take a look at all that God has done for me, I just worry about when it's all gonna come crashing down.
Maybe that doesn't make sense for some people, but seriously I catch myself thinking about stories you see on tv where it's like:
"They had it all.. until, etc."
And I'm like, "Oh no!" because I seriously feel like life could not be much better for me right now and I just worry about where it will go from here.
Don't get me wrong, things are not perfect, but I know that God is really blessing me at this point in my life and I don't want something to happen to where it all gets taken away. I guess that's where I become selfish. It's like, now that I have more, I want to keep it.
I guess only people who are anxious and over analyze things like me would understand that. I know it's weird.
It's kinda crazy too, I don't think I've even talked to anyone about this and here I am venting about everything on blogspot. :\
---Always, Randa---
Ugh, I'm so stressed out. I think I will vent.
Christmas: money - gifts - money - parties - money - cards - money (Need I say more?)
The house: moving - inspections - boxes - problems - bills - more boxes
Work: sales - goals - sales - goals - sales - goals - bonus?
That's not even the half of it. I look back and I think, I am so blessed.
I'm 19 years old and:
- engaged to best person I've ever been with
- building the nicest house I've ever lived in
- working at a place where I have my own office and making the best paycheck I've ever made
- driving the nicest vehicle I've ever had
I mean there is so much going on in my life right now that some people would look at me and wonder why I'm complaining. I feel so bad because I don't want to come across as if I'm not appreciative or grateful because I am, but when I take a look at all that God has done for me, I just worry about when it's all gonna come crashing down.
Maybe that doesn't make sense for some people, but seriously I catch myself thinking about stories you see on tv where it's like:
"They had it all.. until, etc."
And I'm like, "Oh no!" because I seriously feel like life could not be much better for me right now and I just worry about where it will go from here.
Don't get me wrong, things are not perfect, but I know that God is really blessing me at this point in my life and I don't want something to happen to where it all gets taken away. I guess that's where I become selfish. It's like, now that I have more, I want to keep it.
I guess only people who are anxious and over analyze things like me would understand that. I know it's weird.
It's kinda crazy too, I don't think I've even talked to anyone about this and here I am venting about everything on blogspot. :\
---Always, Randa---
