We wish you a Merry Christmas..

.. and a Happy New Year.

I'm already thinking of what my Top 10 New Year's resolutions and goals are going to be. Don't laugh, they are not in any particular order.

1. Maintain a healthy weight (no more gaining).

2. Get a tan (ha ha).

3. Get married (November 1, 2008).

4. Get settled (decorate, furnish) into the new house.

5. Pass my next test (2-20 for insurance).

6. Cook dinner more often (less delivery and to go orders).

7. Start (well at least try) Yoga. I've always wanted to.

8. Take an overnight trip (maybe this could be the honeymoon?).

9. Meet all of my sales goals at work (make more money).

10. Be healthy and happy (along with my family).

I know that they're pretty common, but they're also realistic and I'm sure I can do it. I'll post updates on these when I actually get them done. :\ The race is on.. and here comes pride in the back stretch (I don't know why I just thought of that.. ha ha).

---Always, Randa---

An old enemy of mine..

.. Anxiety.

Ugh, I'm so stressed out. I think I will vent.

Christmas: money - gifts - money - parties - money - cards - money (Need I say more?)

The house: moving - inspections - boxes - problems - bills - more boxes

Work: sales - goals - sales - goals - sales - goals - bonus?

That's not even the half of it. I look back and I think, I am so blessed.

I'm 19 years old and:
- engaged to best person I've ever been with
- building the nicest house I've ever lived in
- working at a place where I have my own office and making the best paycheck I've ever made
- driving the nicest vehicle I've ever had

I mean there is so much going on in my life right now that some people would look at me and wonder why I'm complaining. I feel so bad because I don't want to come across as if I'm not appreciative or grateful because I am, but when I take a look at all that God has done for me, I just worry about when it's all gonna come crashing down.

Maybe that doesn't make sense for some people, but seriously I catch myself thinking about stories you see on tv where it's like:

"They had it all.. until, etc."

And I'm like, "Oh no!" because I seriously feel like life could not be much better for me right now and I just worry about where it will go from here.

Don't get me wrong, things are not perfect, but I know that God is really blessing me at this point in my life and I don't want something to happen to where it all gets taken away. I guess that's where I become selfish. It's like, now that I have more, I want to keep it.

I guess only people who are anxious and over analyze things like me would understand that. I know it's weird.

It's kinda crazy too, I don't think I've even talked to anyone about this and here I am venting about everything on blogspot. :\

---Always, Randa---